I’m not feeling quite good lately. Everything seems to be getting on my nerves and I’m in this constant bad mood, but I have no idea why. I’m searching for an answer yet I find nothing, not even a clue. Now I’m getting on my nerves while trying to find what’s getting on my nerves…quite ironic. The feeling is so awkward, like a heavy weight on my shoulders that keeps on making me sink deeper and deeper into the ground. I look at myself in the mirror and I see only a body, no soul. There’s like this devil inside of me…waiting on the world to change…but it’s not. I’m tired…yet when I try to go to sleep my body refuses to shut down. Then again the reality is simply slipping away, like this is just a part of my life that flashes before my eyes and that soon it’s gone away…it won’t be soon before too long. I feel like screaming, crying, kicking…but I’m silent.
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Silent Trees
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Don't shut up and take the blame, turn around and run away
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I saw my grandmother today, so much for never seeing her again. I just couldn’t let everybody go ahead and say their last words to her before she gets incriminated and simply not go. I mean, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, an event that is forever engraved in one’s emotional memories. I’m glad I tagged along, I really felt as part of the family.
I’m not really good with dead bodies…it kind of traumatises me. But I’m getting used to it, I surely can’t say I enjoy it, but I find it rather relieving and emotional. When I first stepped into the room my heart jumped…it always does. Beforehand I was talking to my friend on the phone who called me to give me her sympathy, as well as to let me know that she was leaving on a plane for France in a few minutes. It really brightened up my day, the fact that she thought of me. I don’t want to sound cocky…but people think of me daily…everybody thinks of everybody daily, but sometimes it adds to someone’s day to hear about it, you get what I mean. So there she was, her frigid body lying in the bottom of a wooden box. My grandpa started crying…and we followed one by one…crying in each other’s arms. She was my grandmother, I knew her, she knew me, and we’re family. Although I was crying I didn’t really understand why. I’m a sensitive person but I didn’t feel grieving…what could it of had been? I looked at everybody around me, I looked at them in the eyes…I looked at them in the soul. I had never felt that feeling before…the feeling of emotional diplomacy. My grandparents had 7 children, one of them past away 5 years ago. They’re all very thankful that their mom gave them the gift of life…but they always seemed to criticize her. It was their choice…but it is now that I see how strong life can actually be…it’s always in the end…
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I saw my grandmother today, so much for never seeing her again. I just couldn’t let everybody go ahead and say their last words to her before she gets incriminated and simply not go. I mean, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, an event that is forever engraved in one’s emotional memories. I’m glad I tagged along, I really felt as part of the family.
I’m not really good with dead bodies…it kind of traumatises me. But I’m getting used to it, I surely can’t say I enjoy it, but I find it rather relieving and emotional. When I first stepped into the room my heart jumped…it always does. Beforehand I was talking to my friend on the phone who called me to give me her sympathy, as well as to let me know that she was leaving on a plane for France in a few minutes. It really brightened up my day, the fact that she thought of me. I don’t want to sound cocky…but people think of me daily…everybody thinks of everybody daily, but sometimes it adds to someone’s day to hear about it, you get what I mean. So there she was, her frigid body lying in the bottom of a wooden box. My grandpa started crying…and we followed one by one…crying in each other’s arms. She was my grandmother, I knew her, she knew me, and we’re family. Although I was crying I didn’t really understand why. I’m a sensitive person but I didn’t feel grieving…what could it of had been? I looked at everybody around me, I looked at them in the eyes…I looked at them in the soul. I had never felt that feeling before…the feeling of emotional diplomacy. My grandparents had 7 children, one of them past away 5 years ago. They’re all very thankful that their mom gave them the gift of life…but they always seemed to criticize her. It was their choice…but it is now that I see how strong life can actually be…it’s always in the end…
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Beneath Our Feet
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Sometimes I wish I was two feet tall
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I’m going to bed now before I have an emotional breakdown for no reason. I’ll post later on tomorrow if I have the chance.
The Daily Beat : Don’t Leave Me – Pink
I’m going to bed now before I have an emotional breakdown for no reason. I’ll post later on tomorrow if I have the chance.
The Daily Beat : Don’t Leave Me – Pink
